no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
