i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
