I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
