in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
