All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
