no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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