I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
