I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize