But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
