hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
