chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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