We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There's always time for handjobs
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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