Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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