Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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