What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
