she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
