Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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