Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I believe in your delicious
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
