she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
