I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
