I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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