Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
