Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
