Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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