Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
