you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
