I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
