He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize