You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
