can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
