Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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