We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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