So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
