just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize