True but thats because hes a fetus.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
