Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
