That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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