i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize