If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
it's great music for shaving your balls
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You took a bar mat shot.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
