I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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