just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
