how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize