you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
