im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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