eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
