i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
