we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
