just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
