she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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