Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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