I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
