Quick, to the slutcave!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
