i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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