3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
