from now on my penis is your penis
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Of course I have a pirate flag
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
