You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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