I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
