I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
North Korea, Best Korea!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
