I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I've blown a few things in my day
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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