We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize