I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
