I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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