The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
