Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
