So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
