So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
